What do you NEED? And how are you at asking and listening?
What do you NEED?
Maybe the genie from Aladdin hasn't asked you lately, but let's take that time to ask.
Has anybody asked you lately and most importantly, have YOU asked you lately?
Have you allowed yourself to take that time, to check in, to ask and then to LISTEN.
Have you ever noticed that when you feel listened to, it's much easier to listen to others too. When your needs are met, you are more inclined (and even EXCITED) to help meet the needs of others, and your little ones. What they need...is also what you need. So remember that, remember that your needs are just as important as everyone else's. When you start with YOU, everybody WINS.
That said...sometimes, it's HARD. It's not always easy to take that time to listen, to make time for YOU (especially now) and to check in and then to follow through. And even when we do, sometimes we can't quite hear the answer. Sometimes we "hear" what other people need or get what we want confused with what we may need in this very moment. Sometimes our "needs" may feel less important than anybody else's. (Ps it's crossed out because it's SO NOT TRUE!) You matter and so do your needs, your desires and your dreams! But let's talk about "needs" for a second.
Like say, when your body might "need" something really nurturing and nourishing but you want something that is going to give you that immediate "fix" or comfort happy feeling.
Sometimes we want to skip to the HAPPY when our body is telling us a different story and is asking for a feeling to be felt.
Or you may want space but it isn't easy to come by. Maybe you are in need of a break, A LOT of space, a bath, a quiet time with a book, your cozy corner or a social time connecting with a friend. Maybe you are putting your needs last and they are yelling at you so you can hear them...and listen to them (and put them first!).
What "need" have you not been meeting or what is it you are in need of right now? Now's the time to LISTEN. Let's create that space for you, right here, right now (with kindness and gentleness). Let yourself listen to your heart and what it's asking for. (PS it's got your back and hopefully there are many people in your life who do too...who can support you so you get what you need.)
Speaking of friends, do you "tend and befriend" your body when it is asking for your attention? Do you ask your pain, your anger, your sadness and even your joy what it needs? What is the thing that brought that on? All feelings included? If you were feeling OVERJOYED, why is that so? Who were you spending time with? What were you doing and how can you allow this feeling to expand and be allowed in MORE? Or say if you have a headache, maybe get extra loving, be there for it, pause with it, have someone "hold it" or ask your head (or heart) what it needs? Maybe you say "I hear you are hurting and I'm here for you" - what do you need right now?
Or maybe there's fear or what we like to label "anxiety". Why can't we just "BE WITH" it, sit with it, comfort "it" and ask the "anxiety" what it needs? Why is it here? What is it afraid of? Can we be with this need in the moment and meet the feeling with kindness, compassion and allow for those needs underneath the feeling to get met? Maybe the anxiety is an alarm bell from a time you felt hurt and you're scared to get hurt again? Instead of labelling this as "BAD", why not be there with this, really have a dialogue with the fear, go into why you are scared so that the "scared" can feel safe to be there, be held, be met - and know that you can indeed feel safe even when fear is arising.
This is the beautiful part of "asking questions". What do you need? What does this feeling need? What is being asked of me? And how can I truly listen and meet this with compassion, a deep willingness to understand and accept even the parts of myself that feel "unacceptable" or dare I say "unlovable".
True freedom comes when we have the courage to "feel safe enough" to BE with these parts, without dissociating and instead saying "hey _____ (ex. FEAR), I see you, I love you, I'm here for you...what do YOU need? What do WE need? How can we get what we need...so we can also have what we both want?
How can we work together as a team instead of "against" each other? <3
What questions are you being called to ask yourself, your body, your feelings, your family, your friends...or your own "needs" or feelings? How can you use this same "dialogue" with your little ones or the little one within that may be activated lately? Or with the people you love most? How can you create the space to be curious, compassionate and also speak in a way that you and your needs, wants and dreams are also heard, accepted and honoured as equally as important as those you love?
You deserve to be heard just as much as everyone else in your life. So start with YOU! 💜
Sometimes we feel like Allie did in the Notebook (see GIFFY above for contexts). Sometimes we are so out of touch with our "own wants" because we are the ones who have often put those of the people we love ahead of our own. So picture your own "Noah" asking you...what's the answer? Need a safe space to feel and figure it out - that's what Love and Acceptance Coaching is all about!
You are indeed HUMAN and doing your best and nobody expects you to be PERFECT or have it all together. We all need and deserve help and we are all worthy of having someone in our lives who can "hold us", be there for us and allow us to remember who we truly are, and navigate those vulnerable, "feeling" times and healing times.